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          没有背后的明天
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<p>序言： 在此刻驻足，终止所谓的锻炼，收回张扬，消化收集的点点滴滴，并尝试认真生活。</p>
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<p>傍晚时分，阳光消散的边界，心，就放下了，或许是回光返照，又或者是无可奈何。</p>
<p>枯燥乏味的故事说了又说，情绪时常还是不能控制，有时候在回想，或许是没有停下脚认真思考，太多的事情被略过，太多的矛盾诞生。于是，在即将崩溃的边缘，我开始试图接受，我开始试图将储存下来的记忆消化。或许一切都无法挽回，又或许会如我所愿，事情已然发生，能做的仅有思考每一个细节去改变可能的未来。</p>
<p>人在什么时候会清醒？陷入痛苦中，站在阳光下，又或者身处阳光下心处黑暗中？太绝对似乎都有些不合适，以往为了保障自身利益时我常会考虑到最坏的打算，而对此我也时常感到满意，只是经常处于这种思维的世界里虽然能对大部分突发事件做出一定的反应，但却失去了事情本身带来的快乐。当养成习惯之后这种思维浅默化使人形成一种强控制性人格，<code>最坏的打算都能接受搞定，还有比这跟糟糕的事吗？</code>，出发点是没有问题，问题是在乎个人的能力与其影响力。当事件因为种种意外失去控制时，甚至事件本身都在排斥当事人时，一切将又回到原点。计划没问题，时间也没问题，但计划并不能执行，原因是容错性太差了，每一点都必须按照计划的走，错就错在这一点，未来只能影响，而很难去控制。</p>
<p>人，是不能感受到自身被控制的。未来的未知性或许才是生活所在的意义，当一切都变得井井有条之后或许并不是一件好事，似乎变成了机器，所有的一切都是提前做好的。控制这个概念似乎并不适合，或许吸引会是一个更好的选择，控制自己的外在部分，可以将<code>手</code>转换成，由<code>(他/她)</code>链接到当事人的一些引导性的想法？是的，控制的应该是人心而不是行为。人心受当事人行为所影响，即控制自己的行为。（似乎在某些书籍上看到过这些描述，自身体会则多出太多细节）</p>
<p>原点即是终点，打开每一层关系的钥匙，都是你当下所作的行为，打开每一层现实的钥匙，就是当下的想法，画地为牢，束缚自己。</p>
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